"The mom who looks completely put together and is baking 100 cupcakes for the school while running the fund-raiser and her own business is exhausted. I wanted them to know that parenting didn’t have to be such a difficult, anxiety-producing job, that there are many different ways to rear a child, and no convincing evidence that one way produces better results than another.But my primary motive was scientific. It is teaching that the only value that child has is by his or her achievement, usually as a reflection of the parent him/herself.
), then accused her of misunderstanding you, of being hurtful & hostile, of being "hyper-sensitive," of being angry, and then mocked her hard-won knowledge gleaned from a lifetime's experience with abusive parents. are all accepted parts of their seemingly "peaceful/loving' culture that we would find abhorrent. You do not even know me or what struggles I had to overcome to dare to have a child. My question as to HOW people like myself were able to parent in a "good enough" if not downright healthy manner was directed at PEG STREEP and she very eloquently answered.No hard feelings, okay? They are most definitely not attuned to their child. “Bad is Stronger than Good,”,Varish, Vaish, Tobias Grossman, and Amanda Woodward, “Not All Emotions Are Created Equal: The Negativity Bias in Social-Emotional Development,”,Elliott, Andrew and Todd Thrash, “The Intergenerational Transmission of Fear of Failure,”.As always, Peg has very good insight into the phenomenon of "bad" (meaning narcissistic and/or abusive) mothers. Also, she is of an age where she is now able to make her own determinations based on her direct experience with my mother. Maintain a balance. I hope to hear only from daughters of mean mothers, those with constructive theories, and Peg :-).Peg has keenly noticed and noted that, somehow, many of those of us who were treated badly (aka chronic abuse) by our "mean" mothers; those of us who dare to go on, in spite of all odds and trepidations to procreate; manage to do so by simply doing the opposite of what their own mothers did. But I wonder if all of this anger you clearly have towards your mother is truly healthy for your child?Of course I have anger towards my mean mother. I was told by my mother and her mother "you should never have children" from an early age. These studies examine the finding of an "earned security"status, one that is important for our understanding of coherent functioning and the possibilities for change. You win!I have never met anyone so hyper-sensitive. In Titus 2:4, the Greek word philoteknos appears in reference to mothers loving their children. I was beaten, belittled, demeaned, humiliated, degraded by both parents; verbally and emotionally abused until I put an end to it a year ago. A good mother never hates her motherhood or treats it like a boring routine. And why are you being so hostile and hurtful?First, I wasn't attacking you. Beyond that, its "go away and leave us alone." There is no doubt that Asian countries have surpassed us academically, years ago. This is a good mother Bible verse, one of the most meaningful for the understanding of the importance of a wife and mother in a family and her role in it. So, this is HOW some of us were able to form loving relationships, in spite of having been locked in closets, sexually abused, told we were "nothing", treated as property/extensions of our mothers and/or fathers; find that internal "compass", and parent our children without harming them, to the degree that was possible for us at the time.And that is NOT what our mean mothers did.mothers from differing cultures and ancestry... ie Jewish mothers versus the victorian mothers. There are 3 or 4 "anonymous' participants.With regard to your misinterpretation of what I said in one of my comments, I did NOT have any good, healthy, loving, nurturing role models in my life. Rather than showing sheâs been bothered by a comment or getting riled up, Linggi smiles widely and gives her standard line: "Thanks for the input!" A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude.I deliberately chose the painting by Mary Cassatt as an illustration because it serves as a cultural shorthand for the prevailing view of motherhood—more of a tender and loving calling than not, suffused with pastel colors, tints of calm. I feel that this is a solid, loving, bonded mother-child relationship and it feels good."
Too much desire tears the heart. The belief that parents have a great deal of power to determine how their children will turn out is actually a rather new idea.